tirsdag 30. juni 2009

Running, finally....

I'm coming straight from the shower, clean and scented with fragrance, and now I'm finally gonna write. I didn't really believe that I was gonna manage to write a blog, I mean I'm not that interesting, but I really love to write about my boring life. Anyways, like I said I have just taken a shower because I went out running, which was just in time if you ask me. I haven't been running for 2 weeks I think because it has been sooo hot here. It's like beeing in the Mediterranean. It's weird cause it usually isn't that hot at all here, but it is very wonderful. I think I ran around 2, 5 km or something. It's not that long, but hey, it is burning calories! I also walked 4 km earlier in the day, and I walked to the library after that, so I have been exercising quite a lot today.

I watched the film "A secret between friends" today. I simply love that film! I really recommend it. It's about two girls, Lexi and Jen, who becomes best friends, and both of them gets an eating disorder. Lexi have just moved in and begins on the volleyball team at the school. There she meet Jen, who is the best player and a very popular girl. Lexi finds out that Jen are trowing up when she eats. Lexi is also told to lose a few pounds by her trainer, so Jen and Lexi starts dieting together. Soon, Lexi develops anorexia, while Jen develops bulimia. I wan't tell anymore, but if you haven't seen it, you really should.

Jen and Lexi
I found some books about eating disorders in the library, but they wasn't that good, so I only looked through them. I really like libraries because it is so calm and peaceful there. It seem like they have every book in the world in there, and you can find whatever you are looking for. I borrowed 2 movies; "Kautokeino-opprøret" and "Gone with the wind". Haven't seen either of them before, but I hope they are good.
I haven't really lost weight, but I haven't gained either, so that is good. Yesterday I had around 700 kcal, and today I'm not sure, but I have been eating like a cow. Maybe 1700 kcal, not more than 2000. When I got up in the morning I had this good plan for the day, but my mother had brought home some cakes from a party last night, so I had one piece. And another. And even though I haven't really binged, I let myself eat "normal" for today. It's really difficult to eat what other people call normal, cause I feel sooo guilty and disgusting and sad.
Tomorrow I'm gonna run in the morning, right after breakfast. I do' know what I'm gonna eat as breakfast, but I have more benefit of the running if I eat a little bit first. Maybe a low-fat yoghurt (67 kcal)? What would you have eaten in the morning before a jog?!?
Thanks again for all the lovely comments. I am really surprised that I have people that have joined my site. You know, I didn't expect it at all! Thanks, everyone. You really help me on my way to perfection<3
PS: I don't know why the text are like sitting together. I'm not very good at computer stuff!

søndag 28. juni 2009

128.5 lbs!

After I wrote yesterday, I fucking binged. Oh, why did I do that! I'm sooo disappointed over myself. I was so sure I had gained at least 2 lbs, buuuuut I lost 1,5 lbs?! What the hell is that? How can that possibly happen? I think I had around 1300 kcal total, but I never dreamt of losing. Well, I'm sure I will have gained tomorrow, though. Not that I ate to much today (around 1000 kcal), but that often happen to me; I binge one day and the next day I have lost weight. But then, the day after that, I usually gain weight. Well, that's me.
I haven't done much today, and I haven't been exercising today either (or at least not until know, maybe I'll dance a bit afterwards). I went to the pond today again, and was swimming a bit, so that's good. I wasn't swimming that much though, because I'm not a person who loves to swim. At least not in small ponds were it is grass in the bottom. But I love to swim other places, just not places were it is grass. Not that I'm good at swimming, I really suck at it :P
After the binge yesterday my weight is now 128.5 lbs! I shouldn't be too happy, cause that'll probably not last long. Tomorrow I'm gonna go out for a run, no matter what the weather is like. 20,5 more lbs to go, then. I have to make it before the school begin in August. I'm wondering how much that'll show on my body. I really hope my thighs will be smaller, because I really hate my thighs. Their much to big. I wanna have thighs like Lindsay Lohan! She look just sooo beautiful now after she lost weight. Not that she was fat or anything before, but now....
One more thing I did today was cleaning my room. It's very boring when you know you have to do it, but when you just get started it isn't that bad after all. It's funny to find stuff you had forgotten, and it just feels sooo good when your done. It also burns some calories when you are cleaning, washing etc.
I heard a knew song today which was so lovely;
Niels Brinck with Heaven's close to hell.

Skinny thighs<3

Keep on starving, girlies!

xoxo Marca

lørdag 27. juni 2009

Ice cream wtf?!

So today's intake wasn't as good as I wanted it to be:

B: low-fat yoghurt and grapes 100 kcal
L: caprizone and watermelon 100 kcal
D: ice cream 400 kcal (WTF?!)

And I had a coffe and two pieces of chocolate, so the total is around 700 kcal. That's just ok. How many kcals are you normally leting yourself have?

Anyways, I haven't really exercised that much because it's too hot here right now. I can go running in the morning or evening, but today I woke up late and now I'm babysitting my little sister and brother. Anyways, I hope I'll get my fat-ass out tomorrow evening on a running! I have to.

I'm still stuck at 130 lbs. Hope I haven't gained tomorrow because of today's intake. I know I need about so much food I had today because otherwise my metabolism would go right down, but at the same time I feel that I eat way to much. Tomorrow I'll try not to have over 500 kcal.

Oh, I just remembered I got a bit exercise today afterall. My sister and I took our bikes to a pond and went swimming. That's not very much, but at least it's something. I also went to the city with my mother and I bought a cute swimsuit! I hate wearing a bikini or a swimsuit, but I'll use the swimsuit as a thinspiration, and I wan't let myself wear it until I reach 115 lbs. I also have another thinspiration. I'm going on a week-long vacation to North-Africa the last week in August! Oh, I can't wait. I have to reach my goal by then. I have to. I need to. I'll do my very best.
Swimsuit thinspo <3
Stay strong girls! <3
xoxo Marca

fredag 26. juni 2009

Good day

So, today was a good day. It could been better though, but also it could be worse. When I woke up this morning (woke up at ten, but hey, it's holiday!) I had my breakfast before I went down to my room and my dancing mate (I try to eat a little to breakfast every day because of the metabolism). It's actually very fun dancing on a dancing mate, the one you add to your playstation, you know. I burned around 150 kcal and after that I did a few sit-ups +++ After that I took a shower, and the rest of the day I just was lazy. Or nearly. My sister and I went for a walk in the evening, I think it was around 4,5 km. That's not bad.

Today's intake:
B: low-fat yoghurt 67 kcal
L: nectarine and caprizone 137 kcal
D: tomatosoup and salad 200 kcal

And I'll add a bit more, so around 450 kcal?! That's not bad. And I know I burned around 530 kcal.

Anyways, I have some knew rules for the summer:

- No more than 500 - 800 kcal (I'm gonna try staying around 500, but some days it'll be difficult because my mother is home so much)
- Exercise at least 45 min every day
- Try to blog every day

I also try not to weigh myself every day because then I'll see a bigger lose!

Tomorrow I have to run. I couldn't today because my shoes is all new and then I would just get a blister, so I had to walk today. But just walking is actually good training, if you walk fast enough.

Don't know what my weight was today, but maybe I'll weigh myself tomorrow?!

Thanks for commenting on my blog. I didn't think anyone would do that, so thanks guys.

And to beginner: I would love to share my msn with you. How can I send it to you? I tried send it on the email on your blog, but I didn't understand any of it :P I'm not a computer-person.

Think thin, xoxo

torsdag 25. juni 2009

Sun, sun and more sun...

Here I am.., back again. So, the last days haven't been very good because I have slept over at a friends house. I know I could have said no to at least some of the food, but it is difficult since my friend have had an eating disorder. Or at least so she say. I know I should believe her because she is one of my best friends, but it's quite hard sometimes. I know she has lied to me before, and who knows..., she could lie again. Anyways, I love her very much, and we don't see eachother that much, so...

"I hate loving my friends..."

That's a good sentence I think, because it's nearly true. I love my frinds sooo much, but it is very difficult to hide my secret sometimes. The last months I haven't really eaten anything at school, and some of my friends are commenting it. I just say that since I easily gets "problems with my stomach", I prefer not to eat to much at school. It works pretty good, but I think a few of them are a little concerned about me. If I say something to avoid food or say something about my body, shape, weight etc. they always try to convince me I'm not fat. But I know I am, and I know their lying...

But anyways, summer is here now and school doesn't start until the 17 of August. I both like and dislike it. Summer is a new beginning. I wish so badly that I'm gonna reach my goal the 17 of August which is 108 lbs. I'm gonna work so hard cause I want people to notice. I want them to see that I have lost weight. I wanna show them that I actually CAN do something, even do I suck in so many other things. I just want people to notice me...

So, like I said, summer is a good time trying to reach my goals. I don't have a job, and I'm not going on any trip, so I am free to do a lot of exercise.., which I will. I'm gonna run, dance on my dancing mate +++ The last days I haven't been exercising much because it is sooo hot here now. It's like beeing in Africa! But when it's hot like this, I nearly never are hungry. There isn't much which are tempting, except from fruit and vegetables. And that's a big plus. And I'm also sunbathing a lot (I'm always pale like a ghost).

This was a long second contribution, hope I wrote most of it right :P Tomorrow I'm gonna wright about a new plan I have. Just have to think a bit more on it, but I think it will work!

xoxo Marca

tirsdag 23. juni 2009


A new blog for my new life.

(I'm from Norway, so you may see that my English isn't that good, but I'll do my best ;)

I'm not very good at this. Well, my name is "Marca" and I'm a 16 year old girl from Norway, a country far far away. "Marca" isn't my real name, but it's such a lovely name, and my real name is not something to be proud of.

Anyways, this blog is an inspiration to me. A place were I can be myself; say (write) what I will without other people judging me for that. I know I'm fat and I know I need to lose weight. I'm 5'2.5 (160 cm) and 130 lbs (59 kg). Now I'm a low fat cow, but not for long. This summer I wanna lose 22 lbs. I know that's much and I know I'll propably not make it, but I'll do my best. My very best.

All stupid, concerning comments will be deleted. This is my journey towards perfection. I will be thin. I have to be thin.

Love Ana <3